First of all, it is important to understand that Mediation is not the
arena for the decision to separate or divorce. That is to say, if
you as a couple believe that your marriage is still viable and
that it is worth the effort to try to save it, by all means seek the
help of a Marriage Counsellor before considering divorce.
However, once the decision to divorce is reached, mediation can
help the separating couple and their children avoid unnecessary
scars and return much sooner to the business of living.
At that point it becomes necessary for all couples to confront
and resolve certain issues. Basically, they are (1) the restructuring
of the present family into two new family units; and (2) the decision
as to how the parties will care for their children, arrange their
finances, and divide their property. For most couples, this is a lot
easier said than done. This time for change is usually a time of great
emotional upheaval. Conflict can be frightening and stressful.
We have all heard of cases where the spouses became adversaries
in protracted legal battles which left them drained emotionally
and financially. In my experience, such an adversarial process
leaves the parties feeling like mere bystanders; with the lawyers
and the judges making all the important decisions and working
out their futures for them. In the end both parties feel bitter, angry
and ill-served by the process. Mediation is one way, many say
"the only sensible way," for people to resolve their conflicts
with the
help of a trained professional acting as a neutral third party.